Gratitude

Today is Friday.  My children are all happy, healthy, and playing or sleeping.  I thought about what to write about.  Should I talk about what we’re doing with homeschooling, what we’re learning about, give some information about homeschooling?  Ultimately I decided that today is a day that I should take stock and name some things that I’m grateful for.

1. I am grateful for a loving partner who seeks to support me, sees past my faults, and continues every day to be my best friend.

2. I’m grateful for healthy children who have access to the services that they need to make their lives easier.

3. I’m grateful for the jobs that pay our bills.

4. I am grateful for good friends who enrich my life and let me know that in all the craziness, I am not alone.

5. I’m grateful for the mind God gave me that allows me to think, question, and learn His truths for myself.

6. I’m grateful for the freedoms given to me by my country, including the right to free speech.

7. I’m grateful that I’m allowed to raise my children the way I see fit, and can relish the joys of homeschooling them.  At the same time, I’m grateful for all those who work in the public schools because they’re helping my sons.

8.  I’m grateful for a God who loves me so much that He’d do anything to allow me to live forever with Him.  And I’m grateful that He gives me such a clear example of a loving parent from which I can learn.

I have so much to be thankful for, and I wonder if I don’t sometimes spend too much time complaining about what I lack or what I want and not enough time thanking God for all I’ve been given.

A Well Informed Mind

A well-informed mind is the best security against the contagion of folly and of vice. The vacant mind is ever on the watch for relief, and ready to plunge into error, to escape from the languor of idleness.
Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764

What a great way to say that the idle mind, like idle hands, are the “devil’s playground”. I don’t even think that it’s necessary that children be involved in highly structured learning so long as they are provided daily opportunities to explore knowledge and the world around them.

A Homeschool Family

Because we homeschoolers have got to be able to laugh at ourselves.

Slice Of Life Sunday ~ Fathers

Today is Father’s Day and I could spend a lot of time discussing the amazing fathers I’ve had the privilege to know. My best friend’s father, who is no longer with us. My wonderful husband who helps me every day to raise this tribe of ours, and my own dad are just a few examples of fine men and fathers.

I was definitely a daddy’s girl growing up. My dad was one of those men who loved being a father. He loved being with his kids, playing with us, taking us places. In fact I still call my father almost daily and have a cup of coffee while we chat, since I’m so far away. My dad was and is a professional musician (a tenor) who (with my mother) provided me with the opportunity to be exposed to incredible music. And life with musicians can be…interesting. I’m so grateful for the people I was able to meet, conversations I was able to soak up, places I was able to go, and all because my parents had a passion for music.

Contrastly, my dad was a High School History teacher (he was the choir teacher as well) and had a deep interest in what shaped our world as we know it today, how politics work, and what we can learn from the past. Family vacations in my house were often educational at their core. How many nine year old American children spend their Summer in England learning about their heritage and history, not to mention sitting in windows pretending that they’re princesses.

My dad is also a spiritual man. He’s not a man who can quote chapter and verse of scripture, but he still knows it backward and forward. And it wasn’t until recently that I realized how much he shared his faith with me. He has an amazing way of figuring out how to apply the teachings of Christ to what we’re going through. And it’s his voice that comes back into my head, telling a bible story, when I come across something that I know is wrong or something that troubles me.

Most importantly, my father taught me how men should treat women. While having a short temper (what can I say, we’re Celts.) he rarely got very angry. And he never treated my mother disrespectfully. He kept his word when he said he would do something. He always tried to be fair. He was honorable. He believed in values and virtues and tried to instill them in us. These are the traits I looked for when choosing my own husband.

This father’s Day I can thank my dad and give him some of the credit for the incredible man who shares my life. My husband married me and began raising my child as his own and has never looked back. He’s made my biggest dreams come true by giving me this family. He takes care of us when we’re sick. He works hard every day at a job that sometimes drives him crazy. He loves to play with his children and thinks nothing is better than seeing his babies laugh. I look at these two men that God put in my life, and I am so grateful that my sons will have them to look up to, and that I’ve been blessed with their support and love.

Thursday 13

13 Books I’ve Read Recently:

1. Escape by Carolyn Jessup

2. Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall

3. His Favorite Wife by Susan Schmidt

4. Parenting Your Asperger Child: Individualized Solutions for teaching Your Child Practical Skills by Alan Sohn and Cathy Greyson

5. Could It Be Autism: A Parents Guide To The First Signs and Next Steps

6. The Everything Parent’s Guide To Children With Autism: Know What to Expect, Find the Help You Need, and Get Through the Day by Adelle Jameson Tilton

7, 8, 9, 10. City of Pearl, Crossing the Line, The World Before, Matriarch by Karen Traviss

11. Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer

12. The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis

13. Innocent Traitor by Allison Weir

Life Chugs Along

Recently we had Ciaran assessed for his speech delay and it has been agreed that he displays a number of behaviors consistent with Autism and is likely on the spectrum.  We will be getting a full work up for him and he will be receiving services through the school district.

On Wednesday, Piper turned six.  For her birthday, I took the girls to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe and then to Build-A-Bear-Workshop.  Piper built a bright pink bear with white hearts in it’s fur, which she named Huggy.  Yes, that’s right, Huggy Bear.  Bridget made a soft bunny that I’d curl up and sleep with myself if she weren’t so attached to it.  She named the bunny Fluffums.

Quinn broke out 2 new teeth, his first, on the bottom.  He’s busy working on them by chewing everything in sight.

Reagan graduated from the 5th grade and is excited about starting sixth grade at the middle school.  The Asperger’s diagnosis has been wonderful.  It’s allowed him to become part of a group of students who accept his quirks and even help him realize when he’s doing something silly or socially inappropriate.  He’s made a good friend at school who lives near by and has a brother who is Autistic.  I think it gives him a better understanding of who Reagan is, and they really bring out the best in each other.

And the days go on, each into the next, a whirl of lessons, firsts, and those wonderful moments that one relishes just being part of a family.  Like when my daughter looks at me and tells me she loves me, or Ciaran decides to give me a kiss just because.  Life isn’t always perfect, but I’m glad that I get to go through each day with this amazing family I’ve been given.  I’m truly grateful.

My Son Has Asperger’s

After meetings with school specialists, many observations, and a lot of imput, Reagan has received the diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. I always knew he was different. So was I at his age (or now even). He is sweet, quirky, a little clumsy with social graces, but genuinely affectionate and genial. I was a bit dumbfounded by the final diagnosis and yet, I know that it’s correct.

At the same time, I have noticed that Ciaran is not developing the way I would expect him to. He often doesn’t respond to his name, or any sitmuli at all if he is engaged in something. His verbal communication is virtually non-existent and his non verbal communication is minimal. He’s active, and social within his family to some degree, but something is wrong and Dominic and I both know it. He has an evaluation on the 19th for his speech development, and I expect that we will be offered services through the school district. If I’m honest with myself I expect that I will receive a diagnosis that also puts him on the autism spectrum, like his older brother.

My emotions are mixed. No diagnosis changes who my child is. And I’m so lucky. My children are here, alive, and healthy. These diagnoses aren’t terminal. There is so much that can be done to make their lives easier and that’s what the official diagnosis offers us: tools. At the same time, I think about how challenging life will be for them and am slightly overwhelmed by the duty placed on Dominic and me to meet their needs. Even more, they need parents who measure up and get it right. I don’t want to fail them.

I picked up two books this evening. One about early signs and treatment for autism and one about helping your child with Asperger’s. I have them in front of me and I want to read them but a part of me also want to return them. While reading and learning about something has always been helpful for me there is still that part of me who wants to stick her fingers in her ears, close her eyes tightly, and wish it all away. I won’t do that, mind you, as the autodidact side is much stronger, but it is there.

I suppose in the end this is just another set of scenery for our life path and it really is a relief to understand why Reagan does some of the things he does. But I won’t pretend that I’m not having some difficulty with it. Even if it is irrational.